Before coming to your training, please do the following:
In this lesson, you will learn how to use the agreement frame to communicate during conflict and the importance of recognizing causes of difficult behavior. Developing these skills will help you become a better job coach trainer by modeling behavior and decreasing resistance from those with whom you interact.
The agreement frame is a communication tool that helps communicate exactly how you feel about an issue without compromising your integrity in any way and without disagreeing with the person.
“[The agreement frame] consists of three phrases you can use in any communication to respect the person you're communicating with, maintain rapport with him, share with him what you feel is true, and yet never resist his opinion in any way” (Anthony Robbins, Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement [1997], 280).
The three phrases are:
For example, you could say, “I appreciate you letting me know how you feel about this. Let me try to explain a different point of view about this.”
From the following list, choose and complete one or more activities that best apply to your situation.
Divide into pairs. With your partner, role-play the two following situations in which you could use the agreement frame. One person will act as the job coach trainer and the other as the associate. After role-playing the first scenario, discuss how it went. Then, switch roles and role-play the second scenario.
With your partner, discuss the following questions:
Think of situations you are currently facing and role-play them with your partner. Ensure each of you plays the job coach trainer once. Then evaluate your performance on this second role-play and discuss any questions you may have about the agreement frame.
The word “but” can create resistance, and we often use it without thinking. When you say, “That's true, but . . . ,” it sounds like you are saying, “That's not true, and furthermore it's irrelevant.”
As a group, discuss the following questions:
After discussing the questions, record five statements that create resistance and then transform them into statements that follow the agreement frame.
Divide into pairs. Practice with your partner saying at least three of your statements out loud.
As a group, discuss how statements that follow the agreement frame can make a positive difference when communicating with associates.
“A good communicator, instead of opposing someone's views, is flexible and resourceful enough to sense the creation of resistance, find points of agreement, align himself with them, and then redirect communication in a way he wants to go” (Anthony Robbins, Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement, 278).
Divide into pairs. With your partner, think of a conflict that you have dealt with or are dealing with now. Then practice using the agreement frame to resolve the conflict by role-playing the situation.
As a group, share your thoughts and impressions about the agreement frame.
From the following list, choose and complete one or more activities that best apply to your situation.
Understanding the underlying causes of difficult behavior can allow us to be more empathic and objective. For example, the following four categories of fear can cause us to act in ways that result in conflict with others.
Psychologist Shirley Winslow divides basic human fears into four categories (see Helene Malmsio, Workplace Solutions: Motivating Your Workforce and Negotiating for Results [2014], 103):
As a group, discuss the following questions:
Read the following scenarios. As you read them, consider the following questions:
Then share your thoughts with the rest of the group. Discuss how thinking about the possible causes of associates' behavior can help you be more empathetic and put you in a position to better assist them in their progress.
Sarah recently started working at Deseret Industries. During her first few weeks, she was a good employee: she arrived on time, completed her assignments, and was good at following instructions. However, in the last two weeks, her attitude and behavior have changed: she has started coming in late to work, acting passive in her duties, and demonstrating a poor attitude with other associates.
Roy has been working at Deseret Industries for a month. However, other associates have commented that he is disrespectful to others and even uses abusive language.
Jayden often plays pranks on other associates. You have asked him to stop on multiple occasions, but he hasn't stopped.
Only about 10 percent of an iceberg is visible above water. This led to the expression “the tip of the iceberg,” referring to something deep or complex.
As a group, discuss the following question:
Think of an associate who is displaying (or has displayed) difficult behavior and record that specific behavior. Then record your answers to the following questions:
As a group, share what you recorded. Then discuss the following question:
Seek to identify a personal or business gap or need.
Spend a few minutes silently pondering what you've discussed during this lesson. Listen as the Holy Ghost helps you identify areas where you can improve. Record your impressions in your learner's journal under the question “What Lack I Yet?”
Seek ways to close the gap or develop the required talent(s) to meet the need.
With the guidance of the Spirit, create your plan of how you will improve and close the gap(s) you have identified. You may use one or more of the exercises below, your own strategy, or a combination of both. Record this plan in your learner's journal under “What Must I Do?”
After a few minutes, those who are comfortable doing so can share their impressions with the group.
Seek understanding, and then share what you learned.
During the week, focus on implementing the plan you created. Record your impressions or lessons learned in your learner's journal under “Therefore, What?” You will be given time at the beginning of next week's lesson to share your experience with the group.
Use this material if you would like to learn more about conflict management.